whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
