I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
