I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I will be naked everywhere
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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