yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
