no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just want to make out with him forever
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
