I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
