I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
