I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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