I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
