Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
