i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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