Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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