Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
In other news, I just burned my penis
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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