I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize