Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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