Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
