i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
