ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
