So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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