There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
