And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
