its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
