:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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