Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
