it was like eating out sand paper
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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