after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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