it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Come on in and take your pants off
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