I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
