so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
