I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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