If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
