Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
