It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
