So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
