I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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