Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
