just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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