So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
