My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
