I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
there is puke in my bra ... again
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