Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
