Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
She tied me up with her honor cords...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
