why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
