So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
vagina is talking i cant
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
