So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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