Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize