They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
