He is such a slut. More and more my type.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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