i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
