will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Actions speak louder than pants.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
