there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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