I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
