Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I have already put on my inside pants.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
