you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
