you would pick up someone in the library
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
