The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
