We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
