1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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