he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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