Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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