You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
