i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
