I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
