Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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