i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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