I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
