Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
It was a blind-side dick pic.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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